This is part of a series of a year long journey by Friar Pete, O.F.A., St. Michael's Hermitage, Regina, SK through the book, “Franciscan Virtues Through the Year“.
This is a tough one for a lot of people.  The idea that a piece of bread and a portion of wine and water can be transformed into something Divine, something that is more, is a hard concept because it goes contrary to what we know as materialistic and scientific facts.   We tend to want to assert that this is simply a ritual, simply an act that uses substances to symbolically represent how we are now closer to God, through the symbolic presence of the Eucharist being Jesus.  The bread being His body and the wine and water being His blood.
Things don't transform like that except in fairy tales.  Its the same principle as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy.  Its a delusion that is performed as a means of asserting the validity of another delusion.
But things do transform.  Seeds become plants.  Plants become food.  The process that allows this to occur is measured by hypothesis that are observable in repeatable conditions.  Scientific principles require an act of faith every time they observed:  the faith that the results will be predictable, and the same.
People transform, sometimes so radically and so improbably that the people around them hardly are able to believe it.  A few years ago, I was so gripped by anxiety and depression that the people closest to me did not believe that I was going to be able to pull myself out of it.  And yet, almost overnight, my depression and anxiety were shrunk to manageable proportions.
So is it unreasonable to believe that the Eucharist. the bread and wine, is the actual physical presence of Jesus Christ?
Of course its not unreasonable to believe this!
We exist in a society that is full of flash and bang.  When something quiet approaches us, it's hard to be able to hear, or to even listen continually because we are taught to be impatient.  If it's not something that can be tangible or explained in 30 seconds, it must not be real--not because it can't be explained or be tangible in less than 30 seconds, but because we don't have the patience to wait, to think, to reason.
The Eucharist teaches us to be patient.  It teaches us to listen, to be silent, to be comfortable with the uncomfortableness of that silence.  It teaches us to go inward, to be mindful of God's presence within us.  It links us through time and space to every single Christian celebration of the Lord's Supper, draws us to the upper room the night before the crucifixion, and links us directly to Christ not only in history, but in the present.
Reverence for the Eucharist is reverence not only for tradition, it is reverence for the actual presence:  Jesus is present in the bread and wine--Jesus is present within us when we consume the bread and wine.  But more importantly, Jesus is present in every other human being that we meet on the face of the planet; including the people we would hope with all out hearts to not find Him.  So the political leaders who drive us crazy, the activists who might be too far right or left on the scale of politically correct for our tastes, the atheist and the agnostic, the ultra poor and the ultra rich:  Christ is there.
For me, as a Eucharistic Catholic, this means that I'm currently only able to receive the sacraments when I travel to Toronto.  It was brought up recently by a colleague that it shouldn't be a problem to receive sacraments in a Roman Catholic church:  the problem I have with that is this.  In 99.9% of all Roman Catholic instances, being an actively queer person isn't copacetic with Roman Catholic dogmatic belief.  For me to receive sacraments in a Roman Catholic setting would require me to effectively be receiving the body and blood while not being in a state of grace (meaning, not being in the best condition spiritually/mentally/emotionally to receive the body and blood of Jesus Christ).  In order for me to receive the sacrament in full honesty, in full communion, it's got to be in a setting where I'm open about who and what I am.
But this then opens up the question:  What's the Divine attitude towards people who are queer?  And can one be sufficiently reverent towards the Eucharist while being fully engaged in queer culture?
I think this is a great topic for a future blog post.  Stay tuned.

This is part of a series of a year long journey by Friar Pete, O.F.A., St. Michael's Hermitage, Regina, SK through the book, “Franciscan Virtues Through the Year“. If you’d like more information on Old/Independent Catholicism, or would like more information on my denomination, or feel called to a vocation, click here!

​This is a tough one for me today because I'm trying to assimilate some hard things that were said specifically about a production here in town, but more generally, speak to how trans people are treated by society and by the queer "community".
The reflection, in part, includes a passage from Hebrews which reads: Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who is promised is faithful.  And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." (Hb, 10:23-25)
Something I've been working over in my head as part of developing a retreat for Pride this year is how we can draw from our experiences, the experiences that in part help to identify us, can make us more empathic to those around us.  Our experiences may be different, but the emotions hold a kind of solidarity that we can use to expand our perceptions and shake off the cobwebs that resting in privilege creates.  After I had read the letter (which you can find here), I had to take a look at the script I was working with and ask myself, is this something people want to hear, is this something people would find encouraging, is this enough?
This is where the idea of encouragement comes along.
When I started to try to learn about privilege, what privilege was, what it meant to me not only as someone who is part of a system that includes me as privileged, but also as someone who in the same mouthful excludes me, I had and still have a hard time with simple things like pronouns, with trying to identify with what it must be like to be trans, especially when we live in a 'community' that locally (and I suspect universally) still has a long way to go in terms of embracing everyone within it.  There are many of us in the 'community' that are trying very hard to be inclusive and considerate of everyone, and sometimes we fall short.  But it's important to remember that we're trying.
In this context, I think encouragement is not only an active thing that one individual does, but it's only possible with internalization, with assessment, with honest acknowledgment that maybe, just maybe, things aren't balanced and we're benefiting from that imbalance.  This isn't to say that any and all efforts aren't important, but the reality is this:  I know of at least two incidents in the Regina community where trans people were treated inappropriately by members of the queer 'community'.
Encouragement begins by saying to our trans siblings:  You're right.
Our community has failed you because some of us have forgotten what it was like to be the parishioners of Sacred Heart Church in Atlanta, Georgia who were refused the sacraments because they were queer, parishioners who remained at the alter rail until the end of service in protest, 23 years before Stonewall.
Some of us have forgotten what it was like to have to walk Albert Street wearing masks because we could be identified, fired, arrested for standing up for our basic human rights, for wanting to be proud, for wanting a parade.  Some of us have forgotten what it was like to have to walk the halls of the Saskatchewan Legislature, to sit in the public gallery, to watch as every NDP MLA wore a pride pin EXCEPT for then Premier Roy Romanow, who's government refused to declare LGBT Pride across Saskatchewan for one day.
We've  forgotten you because some of us have become complacent in what we have achieved,  and in that achievement, we've created an atmosphere of privilege that is exactly the same as the one we have fought against.
Some of us have forgotten that queer spaces are supposed to be inclusive to the entire tapestry of communities that unites us.  We've forgotten to speak up when we hear people being abusive, treating us the way we were once treated ourselves.
Some of us have forgotten what it's like to be stalked, to be hunted, to be bashed.  We've lost touch with the fear, the anxiety, the stress of having to stand in a shower, trying to wash the smell of urine away that was only moments ago inside water balloons that were thrown, the word "faggot" that was heard along side laughter, that wondering if I had been too gay, too open, if I was still safe to walk home.  We've lost touch with the connection to the violence that still lives, still plagues our trans siblings.
If we're going to call ourselves a 'community', we have to engage:  we have to constantly consider how to love and encourage one another, how to proceed with good works, how to reconcile, to listen, to allow ourselves to be heard, and to respect the stories we hear.  The day is here.  Our trans siblings have waited long enough.  It's time to be the family we purport to be, it's time to find the commonality in our communities that unites us, and act on it.
We can't encourage unless we're prepared to admit we've caused harm, inadvertently or otherwise.  We can't encourage if we're still willing to walk together, but on different sides of the street.
When we are able to think back to when we were marginalized, when we were in the emotions of being marginalized, we enter into the beginning of understanding the walk of the person on the other side of the street.  It then becomes our responsibility to cross over.  If we wait, we risk loosing the opportunity for reconciliation, an opportunity to strengthen each other by working towards a new way of thinking, a way that acknowledges privilege not as something entitled by where you were born, but by virtue that you were born a human being with diverse talents, flaws, and an innate entitlement to respect regardless of the condition of the shell your spirit is contained in.
How do you do it?
Smile.  Say hello to people.  Say hello to people you wouldn't normally say hello to.  Challenge people when you hear something that's not consistent with how you would be treated or thought of yourself.  Recognize when you're taking part in a system that is marginalizing another person for your own benefit.  Love people, even and especially the people that make you angry, that push you into corners, that want you to be something different or challenge your ideas or your beliefs.  Give those people the opportunity to be who they are and watch, listen, engage with your heart but not your mouth.
Encourage people with your actions more than your words.  Be consistent with your actions, especially if it means doing something you're afraid to do.
It's OK to be a coward!  It's OK to be afraid!  It's OK to be scared of change.
Change anyway.  Change if it's the right thing to do.

February 24 (Novus Ordo: May 14) Saint Matthias, Apostle († 63)
​After our Blessed Lord's Ascension His disciples came together, with Mary His mother and the eleven Apostles, in an upper room at Jerusalem. The little company numbered no more than one hundred and twenty souls. They were waiting for the promised coming of the Holy Ghost, and they persevered in prayer. Meanwhile there was a solemn act to be performed on the part of the Church, which could not be postponed. The place of the fallen Judas had to be filled, that the number of the Apostles might be complete. Saint Peter, therefore, as Vicar of Christ, arose to announce the divine decree. What the Holy Ghost had spoken by the mouth of David concerning Judas, he said, must be fulfilled. Of him it had been written, His bishopric let another take. A choice, therefore, was needed of one among those who had been their companions from the beginning, who could bear witness to the Resurrection of Jesus.
Two were named of equal merit, Joseph called Barsabas, and Matthias. After praying to God, who knows the hearts of all men, to show which of these He had chosen, they cast lots, and the lot fell upon Matthias, who was thereby numbered with the Apostles. It is recorded of the Saint, wonderfully elected to so high a vocation, that he was remarkable for his mortification of the flesh. It was thus that he made his election sure.
He preached in Judea where he was persecuted by both Jews and Gentiles, and died by stoning, a victim of their pursuits, in the year 63. His body was taken to Rome by Saint Helena, mother of Constantine, some 250 years later. A church there bears his name.
Reflection. Our ignorance of many points in Saint Matthias's life serves to fix the attention all the more firmly upon these two — the occasion of his call to the apostolate, and the fact of his perseverance. We then naturally turn in thought to our own vocation and our own end: may it be like his, a holy death in reward for our fidelity.
Little Pictorial Lives of the Saints, a compilation based on Butler's Lives of the Saints and other sources by John Gilmary Shea (Benziger Brothers: New York, 1894). http://www.magnificat.ca/cal/en/saints/saint_matthias.html With permission.
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24 Février (Novus Ordo: 14 Mai) Saint Matthias, Apôtre
On ne peut guère douter que saint Matthias n'ait été un des soixante-douze disciples de Jésus-Christ; du moins est-il certain qu'il s'attacha de bonne heure à la personne du Sauveur, et qu'il ne S'en sépara point depuis Son Baptême jusqu'à Son Ascension.
Les fidèles étant assemblés pour attendre la descente du Saint-Esprit, saint Pierre leur dit que, pour accomplir l'Écriture, il fallait choisir un douzième Apôtre à la place de Judas. Matthias et Joseph, appelé Barsabas, que sa piété extraordinaire avait fait aussi surnommer le Juste, furent jugés dignes de cette éminente dignité.
On se mit aussitôt en prières, afin de connaître la Volonté du Ciel, après quoi on procéda à l'élection par la voie du sort. Matthias ayant été désigné, on ne douta plus que Dieu ne l'eût choisi pour remplir la place vacante par la mort du traître Judas.
Nous n'avons rien de certain sur les actions de saint Matthias; on sait seulement qu'après avoir reçu le Saint-Esprit le jour de la Pentecôte, il alla prêcher l'Évangile de Jésus-Christ, et qu'il consacra le reste de sa vie aux travaux de l'apostolat.
Clément d'Alexandrie rapporte que, dans ses instructions, il insistait principalement sur la nécessité de mortifier la chair en réprimant les désirs de la sensualité; leçon importante qu'il tenait de Jésus-Christ, et qu'il mettait lui-même en pratique.
Les Grecs prétendent, d'après une ancienne tradition exprimée dans leurs ménologes, que saint Matthias prêcha la foi vers la Cappadoce et les côtes de la mer Caspienne; ils ajoutent qu'il fut martyrisé dans la Colchide, à laquelle ils donnent le nom d'Éthiopie. Les Latins célèbrent sa fête le 24 février.
On garde une partie de ses reliques à l'abbaye de Saint-Matthias de Trèves, et à Sainte-Marie-Majeure de Rome. Mais les Bollandistes disent que les reliques de Sainte-Marie-Majeure qui portent le nom de saint Matthias, pourraient ne point être de l'Apôtre, mais d'un autre saint Matthias, évêque de Jérusalem vers l'an 120.
L'Année Chrétienne, Tome I, p. 253, 254. http://www.magnificat.ca/cal/fr/saints/saint_matthias.html Avec permission.
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El 24 de febrero (novus Ordo: El 14 de mayo) San Matías, Apóstol
San Matías es el apóstol póstumo de Jesús, que se incorpora al grupo después de la Ascensión del Señor. De varios apóstoles apenas sabemos más que el nombre. De Matías sólo sabemos su nombre y su elección. Es el único apóstol no elegido por Jesús. San Matías el sustituto, podíamos decir.
Después de la Ascensión de Jesús a los cielos, los apóstoles, dóciles a su mandato, descendieron del monte Olivete y se encerraron en el cenáculo. Jesús les había dicho que no se alejaran de Jerusalén y que esperaran allí la venida del Espíritu Santo. Con los apóstoles esperaban también algunas mujeres, y María la madre de Jesús.
Estaban encerrados. Orar era la única actividad. Orar y esperar. No tenían fuerzas para más, hasta que les llegara el aliento de lo alto. Sólo una iniciativa se tomó. Jesús había elegido doce apóstoles y les había dicho que, a su regreso glorioso, los doce se sentarían sobre doce tronos para regir las doce tribus de Israel. Y ahora faltaba un hombre para un trono. Judas Iscariote había apostatado. Había que buscarle un sustituto.
El número doce tenía un alto significado místico en la Biblia. Doce como las doce fuentes de Elim. Como los doce panes de la proposición. Como las doce puertas de la Jerusalén celestial. Como los doce hijos de Jacob. Como los doce cimientos de la muralla de Jerusalén. Como las doce piedras preciosas del pectoral sacerdotal: una sardónica, un topacio y una esmeralda. Un rubí, un zafiro y un diamante. Un ópalo, un ágata y una amatista. Un crisólito, un ónice y un jaspe. Doce, número sagrado en Israel.
Los Hechos de los Apóstoles nos ofrecen la primera alocución pontificia del primer Papa. Pedro se levantó y dijo: "Hermanos míos, era preciso que se cumpliese lo que el Espíritu Santo profetizó en la Escritura por boca de David acerca de Judas, el que guió a los que prendieron a Jesús... En el libro de los Salmos está escrito: Que su campamento quede desierto y no haya nadie que lo habite. Y también: Que otro ocupe su cargo".
Luego continuó: "Hermanos, es preciso que entre los que están en nuestra compañía desde el principio, es decir, desde el bautismo de Juan hasta el día en que el Señor Jesús nos dejó para subir a los cielos, escojamos uno para que sea testigo de su resurrección".
Puestas estas condiciones, entre las 120 personas que allí se encontraban, dos hombres parecían cumplirlas perfectamente. Y fueron presentados los dos: José, apellidado Barsabá, por sobrenombre Justo, y Matías.
Había que encomendar la elección a Dios. Y como se trataba de dos cosas buenas, siguiendo una costumbre de Israel, recurrieron a la suerte también. Y rezaron así: "Señor, Tú que conoces los corazones de los hombres, muéstranos a cuál de estos dos has elegido para ocupar en el ministerio del apostolado el puesto dejado por Judas para irse a su lugar. Echaron suertes sobre ellos, y cayó la suerte sobre Matías y fue uno de los Doce".
Nada más dicen los Hechos de Matías. Matías fue fiel a la elección. Algunos escritores antiguos nos lo presentan predicando en Jerusalén, en Judea, en las orillas del Nilo y en Etiopía, hasta sellar sus palabras con su sangre.
http://www.magnificat.ca/cal/es/santoral/san_matias.html Con el permiso.

[Friar Pete, O.F.A.'s latest reflection based on Franciscan Virtues through the Year. Friar Pete serves at St. Michael's Hermitage, Regina, SK.]

It’s not a coincidence that the virtue of Eagerness should fall on the same week as the beginning of Lent.
And eagerness is definitely a quality that most gardeners need.  It’s only the 14th of February but already I’m hauling out the seed catalogues and thinking about what I’m going to order this year, what I’m going to start indoors this year, and how I can do my planting inside in such a way that the seedlings won’t all croak.  See, when we bought the house I figured that the east exposure in the kitchen would be good for starting seeds.  And most plants do OK there–once I figured out that the vent under the table was drying things out very quickly, and baking what wasn’t getting watered.  Last year I lost all my seedlings because I was too eager to start without really thinking things through.
Eagerness as a virtue is different from that impulse to dive into something and just not think about the repercussions.  In my personal life, there’s an eagerness that is ever present to see my boyfriend, to spend time with him, to enjoy his company and allow our relationship to grow.  It’s a desire to encounter Dan as a complete being, and watch as my own being is reflected back while I’m with him.
The same kind of experience happens when I enter into a prayer experience.  When I’m praying the office, or doing Centering Prayer, there’s a calm connection that happens that makes me eager to want to re-enter into those times.  It’s a strange sort of thing really, a kind of intimate relationship with something so big that it’s hard to fully describe or understand.
Lent being what Lent is, a time of penance and connection, a time of ‘entering into the wilderness’ as Jesus did after His baptism, there is an eagerness to enjoy that feast of the spirit that engages when you fast.   The challenge does come–its not simply eagerly choosing to do something and enter into that experience without issue.  The challenge is to allow the eagerness of the entering-in to overcome the feelings of anxiety, of frustration.
Eagerness is ecstasy that has not fully blossomed; its a seed that needs nurturing, that contains the joy of knowing a flower will eventually blossom.